I'm No Saint... a nakedly honest little memoir: 2011

Ruby Red Slippers - Sorry We're all SOLD OUT!

Lisa

Over the years I have come to the sad realization that the Land of Oz is not only just a land of make believe...

It's obvious now after years of "personal research" that men here in the Land of Reality were also made with no hearts, no brains and no courage. Unfortunately, give or take a few characterisitcs, or dare I say plumbing features, they are all created equal. There are no magical Ruby Red slippers to click, click, click my way back to Kansas. Sorry ToTo, but we're screwed baby!

Looks like us women will just have to set up camp here and become strong, independent, self-sufficient women and develop the don't take shit from any body mentality that will get us through this world. Life is not the fairy tale we imagined when we were little girls.... Prince Charming is queer (so you can stop kissing those frogs now), the fabled white horse is lame - and sadly chivalry is dead. Well, chivalry does live on in married men, but they only put it to use of you play the role of the OTHER WOMAN. Just sayin'...

I don't want to be a draggg today - maybe it's just my PMS making me want to spew venom in the name of men today... naaahhhhhh....well, maybe a little. Alas, they have created the UN-subserviant monsters they claim we've become; there's nothing wrong with a little role reversal, eh boys?? MUAHAHAHAHA! been practicing my evil laugh

I guess for hopes sake and my attempt at thinking positively, there are still a few good men out there. Perhaps, I just have to venture where I've never been before - try something new... Oh, look!

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The Descent to Manhood

Lisa

A wise woman once told me "there is no more ungrateful human being than a child between the ages of 13-17" and that's the TRUTH! I'm wishing I was closer tot he end of that dreadful period. Unfortunately, he's about to turn 14 so we're just getting started. Ughh!

I swear as soon as my son's testicles began their descent to manhood it's been worse than I could ever imagine menopause would be. Don't get me wrong, my son is no punk - he's a good boy - but I miss my sweet dosile little boy. PLEASE BRING HIM BACK LORD!!! He seems to have been replaced by the alien child - lazy, argumentative, a sibling torturer who thinks he knows everything and I, or any adult for that matter, know nothing. He has replaced the importance of family with video games and online "PS3 Call of Duty buddies". Lets not forget it's all about HIM -Oh, and name brand clothes of course. Seriously, at times I want to either cut and run or choke slam him just to show him who's boss. If I had experienced Teenager Hell before my other two children made their way into the world... lets just say they'd still be trapped in an ovary.

Talking to other parents of teengers I realize two things. One - I'm not the only one. Typical teenager syndrome. And, two, it could be worse. Like I said, he's no punk kid and I'm thankful he's not girl crazy - yet! (I'm not concerned he's queer - he def liks the risque pics his little gf's text him... that's a whole nother blog topic in itself. Wth, girls? Where are your parents??)

Just gotta continue to show him tough love when he needs it! Please pray I will survive.

Thank goodness wine is legal....

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LACK-adaisical Lisa

Lisa

Lack of blog post can indicate one of two things. One, you have had a less than exciting existence lately, with no incidents to share, or even an imagination sharp enough to fabricate something interesting OR, two, you are running through life, bouncing from city to city, pampering yourself with facials, pedicures and sun bathing on sandy white beaches, which means you haven’t had the time to sit down for a hefty blog post.

For modesty reasons, I choose not to answer which of the reasons above is responsible for my naked blog! Maybe it was a little of both, but I'll never tell.

There's so much to talk about since last November. I can't believe it has really been that long. Time flies when you're busy with a career (or two), raising children, trying to manage a relationship - or two, or three - and the daily fight to keep my head above water (or the fight to keep it from doing a 360 before exploding!).

Where should we begin??

My oh-so-joyous intro to parenting a teenage boy (sense the sarcasim??)
Discovering my inner feminist
Confirming all men are created equal - unfortunately

These are definitely some great topics to start!!

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