Yes, I have some bad habits. Too many to list actually. Yet I'd have to say my worst so far this week (mind you its only Tuesday morning) is coming home from my night shift tending bar - dead on my feet - and heading straight for my sanctuary. My bed.

Without a shower.

It's not because my ass stank from sweating all night in my skinny jeans, that my feet were more than ripe from running all night in my vintage Tony Lamas OR that the stench of the human ashtray I become after 9hrs soaking in all the 2nd hand smoke has now soaked into my bed sheets...

BUT because I decided to wear my favorite Lime Crime Red Velvetine Lipstick lastnight. (My red lips always make me feel strong & sexy!) Totally on fleek and always fabulous!! However, waking up with your red lips all over your fave comforter is NOT so fabulous. Good thing about being single...theres no one here to give two cares. Or one.

I will say the best part is laying here laughing about one of my customers, whom we shall so appropriately refer to as "Ms Cougar", asked if she could try aome some of my red lipstick after 6 glasses of wine. I warned her. It was obvious she didnt heed my warnings when she returned to the bar with her lips AND the outer brim red as a rose...a Sharpie rose! Hahaha!! Everlast has nothing on #LimeCrime. 

Move over Maybelline! There's a new bitch in town...

Now. To go wash my dirty little self.

Such a funny thing to get back into blogging and find what you attempted to create nearly four years ago...

So much has changed (kids are older, I might be too...just a little...drastic career change)...yet not so much different on the romantic scale. Eh, its quite possibly UNwritten in my stars or I just keep picking the same fruit from that bad tree.

Hmmm lets recap...was engaged, broke that off. Met a bear cub. Fed him for a while but he was too wild (even for me) and not housebroken. Hell, I think he was still shittin' yellow!! Oooh, caught myself an Arabic prince. Treated me like a queen. Until he caught himself a case of the herpes. Distracted my broken heart with occassional rendezvous & road trips with my "Patriotic Fishtank". Got rescued from a drunk John Wayne by a tattooed boy in blue. Turned out to be an oversized "BOY" who couldn't reacue himself!...(don't worry we'll cover that douche bag in a later blog) and now? Well I'm still kicking...& screaming!

Back at it again.

Wild Child on a Road to Nowhere.

LG

Over the years I have come to the sad realization that the Land of Oz is not only just a land of make believe...

It's obvious now after years of "personal research" that men here in the Land of Reality were also made with no hearts, no brains and no courage. Unfortunately, give or take a few characterisitcs, or dare I say plumbing features, they are all created equal. There are no magical Ruby Red slippers to click, click, click my way back to Kansas. Sorry ToTo, but we're screwed baby!  

Looks like us women will just have to set up camp here and become strong, independent, self-sufficient women and develop the don't take shit from any body mentality that will get us through this world. Life is not the fairy tale we imagined when we were little girls.... Prince Charming is queer (so you can stop kissing those frogs now), the fabled white horse is lame -  and sadly chivalry is dead. Well, chivalry does live on in married men, but they only put it to use of you play the role of the OTHER WOMAN. Just sayin'... 

I don't want to be a draggg today - maybe it's just my PMS making me want to spew venom in the name of men today... naaahhhhhh....well, maybe a little. Alas, they have created the UN-subserviant monsters they claim we've become; there's nothing wrong with a little role reversal, eh boys?? MUAHAHAHAHA! been practicing my evil laugh  

I guess for hopes sake and my attempt at thinking positively, there are still a few good men out there. Perhaps, I just have to venture where I've never been before - try something new... Oh, look!

A wise woman once told me "there is no more ungrateful human being than a child between the ages of 13-17" and that's the TRUTH! I'm wishing I was closer tot he end of that dreadful period. Unfortunately, he's about to turn 14 so we're just getting started. Ughh! 


I swear as soon as my son's testicles began their descent to manhood it's been worse than I could ever imagine menopause would be. Don't get me wrong, my son is no punk - he's a good boy - but I miss my sweet dosile little boy. PLEASE BRING HIM BACK LORD!!! He seems to have been replaced by the alien child - lazy, argumentative, a sibling torturer who thinks he knows everything and I, or any adult for that matter, know nothing. He has replaced the importance of family with video games and online "PS3 Call of Duty buddies". Lets not forget it's all about HIM -Oh, and name brand clothes of course. Seriously, at times I want to either cut and run or choke slam him just to show him who's boss. If I had experienced Teenager Hell before my other two children made their way into the world... lets just say they'd still be trapped in an ovary.






Talking to other parents of teengers I realize two things. One - I'm not the only one. Typical teenager syndrome. And, two, it could be worse. Like I said, he's no punk kid and I'm thankful he's not girl crazy - yet! (I'm not concerned he's queer - he def liks the risque pics his little gf's text him... that's a whole nother blog topic in itself. Wth, girls? Where are your parents??)


Just gotta continue to show him tough love when he needs it!  Please pray I will survive.


Thank goodness wine is legal....  

Lack of blog post can indicate one of two things. One, you have had a less than exciting existence lately, with no incidents to share, or even an imagination sharp enough to fabricate something interesting OR, two, you are running through life, bouncing from city to city, pampering yourself with facials, pedicures and sun bathing on sandy white beaches, which means you haven’t had the time to sit down for a hefty blog post.




For modesty reasons, I choose not to answer which of the reasons above is responsible for my naked blog! Maybe it was a little of both, but I'll never tell.


There's so much to talk about since last November. I can't believe it has really been that long. Time flies when you're busy with a career (or two), raising children, trying to manage a relationship  - or two, or three - and the daily fight to keep my head above water (or the fight to keep it from doing a 360 before exploding!).


Where should we begin??

• My oh-so-joyous intro to parenting a teenage boy (sense the sarcasim??)
• Discovering my inner feminist
• Confirming all men are created equal - unfortunately

These are definitely some great topics to start!!

I have discovered this new think called "blogging"... so I won't be needing you any longer. Took me long enough. Ha!

Where to begin? Well, let give a quick rundown for my fellow bloggers out there. I am a 30 year old mother of 3 wonderful children (they have their moments, but don't we all?) who manages a schedule that hardly leaves time to breathe. I work not one, but two jobs to support myself and my family. I am very independent and depend on no one... that little life lesson I learned the hard way, but I am better for it! At the same time I think it may be my curse. I have been married once, divorced and engaged 4 times since. Yeah, I know what you're thinking and I totally agree. lol.

At this point in my life I was beginning to feel like I had lost ME. I've been so buy doing for and catering to others that I have neglected myself and totally shorted myself my level of happiness. I am very fortunate to have recently met someone in the most non-traditional of ways that has ignited that spark of life inside. I took a chance, totally against my greater judgement and I am forever thankful that I did.The stars were perfectly. It is such a relief to meet someone who truly accepts me for who I am, doesnt have alterior motives and genuinely adores my company. How exactly I got here I have no clue I am just glad I to be along for the ride. So, prepare yourselves boys and girls... it's time for this ride to take off.

LG & ES